Kindnesses, compassion and wisdom

by Duchy Trachtenberg

In Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers, we learn that the universe stands on three things: on the Torah, on worship and on gemilut chasadim, the reciprocation of righteous acts. Without social justice and morality, the righteousness and compassion signified by the concept of gemilut chasadim, there can be no society. Having recently celebrated the High Holidays makes me mindful of the spirit of community and the generosity of heart that define our religious beliefs and life's work.

I often refer to my son, Walter, a recovering schizophrenic hospitalized in Maryland, and how he has inspired my long-standing advocacy and public service. At the onset of Rosh Hashanah, I followed the family tradition of bikkur cholim, a hospital visit, and a care package for Walter's benefit. However, I now have come to understand that this family visit says something deeply profound about the world we live in, and sometimes, a world we thrive in.

During the course of my two-hour pass with Walter, we visited the hair stylist for a quick shampoo and trim. This was no easy accomplishment. My son struggled in his directions for the stylist. Vicky wasn't sure what Walter desired as he uttered incomplete sentences and delusional circles. But she succeeded in understanding what a government cut was -- halfway between a military crew and a professional look. She treated Walter with thoughtful consideration and even managed to get him to crack a wide grin upon the final step, application of mousse for the finished look.

As Mother covered the expense, Vicky presented Walter with a small bag containing an assortment of hair product samples. Walter was thrilled by this simple act of kindness -- and so was I.

Upon leaving the salon, we made our way to our favorite lunch destination, the neighborhood pizzeria. Santoro prepared the usual feast of a large, thin-crust pie complete with pepperoni and onions (lots of onions). As he placed the baked pie at our booth, Santoro joined in friendly conversation.

Another native New Yorker, he shared his Brooklyn tales with us. Walter and Santoro reminisced about the New York Yankees, the overall quality of fake pizza products and how they didn't compare to Santoro's best. We all agreed it was the imported city water that made the difference.

The ritual continued as we discussed Mayor Michael Bloomberg's financial genius, the beauty of Central Park and how New York City was still the center of the universe. As Walter struggled with images and voices, Santoro knew it was time to end the outing. Like clockwork, he promptly packed a goodie bag of leftover pizza, baked cookies and a very large cannoli. Walter made a point of giving Santoro a bear hug, clearly to acknowledge his kindness.

I only had to let my eyes meet Santoro's gaze. He knew I thanked him from the bottom of my heart and that we would return in a few weeks time. The excellent pizza crust would ensure that, but, more important, Santoro's generosity would make it inevitable.

I describe this odyssey not to tug on heart strings. I share this personal recollection to make several important points. As public officials meet the challenges of hard choices and budget priorities, let's not forget the needs of people like my son. Let's remember they are our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends and sometimes our family. Let's keep in mind that the Walters of the world depend on both our compassion and our wisdom.

Santoro, Vicky and Walter know this lesson well.

Duchy Trachtenberg of North Bethesda is a member of the Montgomery County Council (at-large) and serves on the Council's Health and Human Services Committee.